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A Few Questions Worth Asking

Please answer each question based on your experience over time, not just on a particularly good or difficult day. Your results will appear at the end. This checklist is not a diagnostic tool. It is a starting point for reflection.

1. During conversations, do you or your partner often "tune out" or miss part of what was said, especially with background noise like the TV or other conversations?
2. Do you often repeat things to your partner because they didn't register the first time?
3. When you ask your partner to handle several tasks at once, do some often end up partly done or out of order?
4. Does either of you often take a moment to "catch up" before responding to a question or comment?
5. Do you or your partner regularly misplace keys, phone, wallet, or paperwork?
6. During important conversations, does either of you get pulled away by a phone, screen, or something nearby?
7. Do shared routines or projects often have a step missed or done out of order?
8. Does clutter tend to build up in shared spaces, like counters, closets, or the car?
9. After discussing plans or decisions, do you and your partner sometimes come away with different understandings of what was agreed?
10. In group settings, do you or your partner have a harder time following the conversation?
11. Does either of you often lose track of time, leading to running late?
12. Looking back, do these patterns feel like they've been part of how one or both of you operate for a long time?

You have 16 yes answers

Scoring Bands

0 to 4 Yes answers Your responses suggest these patterns may not be a significant concern in your relationship right now. Even so, if something brought you to this checklist, that instinct is worth honoring. The connection between ADHD and how couples communicate is a conversation worth having.

 

When ADHD Shows Up in Your Relationship

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5 to 12 Yes answers Your responses suggest a pattern that is likely affecting your relationship in real and ongoing ways. These are not simply personality differences or isolated disagreements.

 

They point to something that has likely been shaping how you and your partner communicate, connect, and manage daily life for a long time, in some cases since before this relationship began, without ever being fully understood.

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That can change.

 

Schedule a Discovery Call

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A Note Before You Go

This checklist is not a diagnosis. It is a simple self-reflection tool designed to help you notice patterns that may be affecting your relationship. If several of these items feel familiar, it may be a sign that there is more to understand about what you have been experiencing and that it may be worth taking the next step toward greater clarity.

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